Friday, 11 May 2012

BURN IN HELL BIOMEDICINE!!!! BURN IN DANTE'S SEVENTH CIRCLE!!!!!!!

Oh bliss! Oh bliss and heaven! ITS FUCKING OVER!!!!

Last exam of my whole horrible, agonizingly, needlessly, pointlessly, tortuously drawn out degree DONE.

IN YOUR FACE HAEMATOLOGY! IN YOUR LYMPHOMA-LOVING, TISSUE PROCESSING, ALZHEIMERS LABORATORY DIAGNOSING FACE!!!!

TO THE WINDOW \(^-^\) TO THE WALL (/^-^)/

Ye HADES you cannot imagine how happy I am. I mean thanks and all, degree, what with the getting me a place at medical school and the bringing into realisation all my dreams and hopes and fantasies and random thought-dawdlings predominantly occurring during less delectable bodily functions etc etc but YE GODS am I going to shake what genes and some bad food choices gave me as I walk in the opposite direction of biomedical science.

Never again, Western Blots, will you rape my eyes and ears with your monochromatic gels and moulding forensics lecturers. No, no, table top centrifuge, the only thing you're spinning down is the logarithmic density gradient to the fucks I give. What's that, HeLa cell line? I left you to overgrow and kill each other as you fight for survival in the cramped, apocalyptic wasteland of the cell incubation flask? Well maybe you shouldn't have been such a whiny bitch to transfect.

As of today (until October lolz) I am a free woman. I'm going to whore out London and Buckinghamshire and think about happy things like Korean food, penguins as awkward silence-fillers, the hilarity of sitting backwards to the direction a train is moving in and arriving arse-first in a new place, the incessant barbecues my parents insist on when the sun peeps from yonder clouds, turning 21 this month and the 'screw-you' finger to everyone who thinks that's going to come with an epiphany, my mounting love for XBL's much (much, much, nerdgasmically much) anticipated Minecraft...eh I'll think of more.

Right, first thing I'm doing - XBOX TIME! Oh Bioshock - IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG!!

Thursday, 10 May 2012

Several weeks ago I firmed Leicester for medicine and haven't looked back.

Tomorrow I will have my final exam heralding my final year of being a biomedical student. After 11:30 tomorrow, I will walk away from the haematology and transfusion sciences paper and forget every last pointless thing I forced myself to learn throughout these last three years.

Honestly I'm exhausted. Had a bit of an incident yesterday - vasovagal syncope, terrible timing as I was in the shower at the time. This not being my first time, I forced myself to stay conscious to get to my room where I blacked out on the floor (after failed attempt to elevate my legs) and came round on my back with my fingers stiff and everything slurred, weak, tingling and phosphined like Christmas in my cornea.

Good heavens it was terrifying.

The chest pain, fatigue and dizziness is still there and I'm ashamed to say I had to get help. My friend was treated to a fine rendition of 'last dying hours' over the phone and came rushing to my house armed with cake. Poor girl, she must have been horrified to find a towel-clad me on the floor looking like a victim of ritualistic exsanguination.

Ah me. Cake, tea, water, omelette, miso soup and faffing over the revision I should be doing later and I was fretting over the exam I had to do the following afternoon. I honestly have no idea how I made it into university or how I managed to sit the exam no less know what I was talking about.

Suffice it to say it was not an experience I have any interest in repeating. Generally I'd not been eating, sleeping or drinking enough and the shower was very hot so I felt like I was suffocating which are all risk-factors of vasovagal syncope. But I've had all of the above and never had the attack due to those symptoms alone.

The only common denominator was stress, so I've decided to better organise my life to avoid unnecessary stress and unnecessary dependence on people. There's such an embarrassment around the fact you could have prevented things by simply doing a little exercise so that you feel ok eating, drinking enough, sleeping reasonable hours and beginning revision back when you should have and not two weeks before your third-year exams.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow!